Looking back at that dear old poem of mine just below,
I can feel what I was feeling then, seeing myself tearing the fantasy from the reality.
It almost makes me sad, almost,
but really it makes me feel stronger, because I was able to pass through it like any other time,
and I know if something similar happens again I’ll have all these experiences to help me through.
I had tried a different strategy this time, and it worked in different ways, I can’t really say if it was better or worse than last time,
just different and unique in it’s own way.
I’ve found, it’s human to compare, but there’s comparing and recognising the differences and then there’s ranking. (that’s what I think anyway)
There’s a lot I try not to do, and sometimes it exhausts me; I try and I really do try to make things fair, but you’re right, a lot of the times I do slip up.
Life isn’t fair, but you can’t help trying to make it.
I’ve cut him from my life,
because he brought me down,
because he wouldn’t let go of the past,
because he blamed me for everything that went wrong,
because he couldn’t be trusted,
but most of all, because he royally pissed me off and I had had enough of stroking his ego with apologies and whatnot;
an ego, which a certain someone once pointed out that I planted, watered and nutured XP~~.
Maybe I am to blame at times, maybe I am the bitch, but you were the childish one and it took me so much effort not to lash out and rip your guts out,
least I end up as sad as you.
And it annoys me that there’s a segment in my blog for you; but this only serves as a reminder to myself.
Some hopes are better to be forgotten; once you’ve seen all of someone;
you should know that there’s nothing else to hope for than what’s right in front of you.
Such comings and goings of people recently.
The goings I’m not too worried about since it means it’s one less thing on my mind, and usually for some odd reason or other they come back for the better or worse, so I shall deal with it then (lol I sound like Scarlett from Gone with the wind; LOVE that book and the film ).
The comings, I shall have to see what will unfold, sometimes it’s a quick little visit, other times a little more thought is required.
Had one of the most disorientating days today, it was strange, and I’m still undecided whether I liked it or not; I have to say though, I really liked getting the lollies and the eating of ice cream =].
Helen ♥
P.S. Avatar screening tomorrow ^^, can’t wait, plus spending time with mum.

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