Dear Self

Dear the person that is known as Helen,

My last entry was a complete mess.. sigh…
I seem to lose my power of words once the night draws in.
This is not a good sign at all.

Talking to my future self, possibly 10 years from now, I wonder what I’d be doing, with who ;D and if I’d be happy.
I’d be turning 30, wow would you look at that 30… I wonder if I would have accomplished anything.
LOL I wonder if I’d have kids… or is that too young… or too old? hmm…
I’d want kids.. lol just saying…
I hope in 10 years time I’d be able to.. actually I don’t know…
I guess fix up my sleeping patterns?
GAHH I hope I’m not still stuck in uni cause I failed programming =.=”.

I feel as if I’m at a confusing place, I don’t know what is to be expected of me anymore.
I want to avoid everything and everyone, yet I can’t stop myself from wondering.
It would be wonderful if something pleasant happened this year,
something that would make me smile every time I think about it,
a memory or experience that would last a whole year =].

I’m organising a picnic for February,
I hope I’m still organsing things for friends in 10 years time… lol that if it hasn’t killed me.
For once things seem really simple, everything is just falling into place,
but then again I haven’t started making arrangement for food yet, but let’s hope it’ll be smooth sailing.

XO, I almost forgot about Valentine’s day, for two years we’ve done something around Valentine’s day,
but I’m not sure if we can this year.
Rachel will be in China and Chinese New Year just happens to coincide with Valentine’s day.
It’d be fun if we could have a little walk though.
We’ll just have to see closer to date.

What do I expect from myself this year;
I guess for me to not fail any subjects, push my gpa up again, have fun with friends, enjoy life, be there for those who need me and complete some of the things on my to do list XD.

Ooo just another thought.. in 10 years time Holly will be 22 OMG… it’s her birthday this weekend, we’re going to laser tag in Smithfield, I wonder how we’ll be celebrating it in 10 years time… lol a club? XD.

Naww and it’s her first year of high school too, I remember how I was like for high school, and I can say she’s taking it differently from me =]P.
But I hope she has fun, high school was freedom with a safety net.

I write very erratically… but I guess that’s cause moods pass through me quite fast hehe.

Things are still calming down…. but I think it’s getting there.

Helen ♥


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