Plan B

Sooo I woke up early, and I called,
but it was all booked out.
Well I kinda expected it since it was the first time this was happening, and it had already been advertised more than a week ago.

Luckily I had a plan B,
So I’ve implemented that, gotten a booking for lunch, an idea for the time inbetween and hopefully dinner won’t be too crowded.
I really hope we have outside seats for lunch ^^, but I don’t think people will be very willing to give them up ><.

I feel as if I’m holding back, and that I’m not doing the best that I can because of my own petty thoughts. I really want to rise above this and be what I’m expected to be, what I know I can be, but there’s so much I don’t understand.
I don’t understand why,
and that’s probably one of the things that’s stopping me from letting this go.

This is stupid, I’m not going to let you win, I’m not going to let my frustration for you stop me from helping someone else.
From today I’m letting this go.
I’m going to stop myself from worrying about you, trying to understand you, I’m going to stop letting you occupy my conversations and thoughts.
I’m not going to let what you do distract or worry me.
Because you’re not worth it, what you do, what you’re like, is no concern of mine anymore.

If you wish to continue on your path of destruction then so be it, I’m not going follow and be petty like you. That’s something I’ve left behind and I sure as hell won’t go backwards and let myself get caught up in that stupidity and childish behaviour again.

I’ve tried, and I’ve given you chances, but I’ve realised now, it’s not about you, it’s about everyone else, and I’m not going to let you affect my relationship with them. Each time I talk about you, let you worry me; I’m becoming like you.
So I’m going to stop.

Helen β™₯


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