Archive for ‘Ruminations’

Mar 5, 2015

Beginnings and Endings

I want a Surface Pro! Hopefully 4 if that ever comes out. But if that comes out and it’s worse than the 3, I’ll probably get the 3.
That being said, I don’t know if I can justify the price =/.
We shall see as the year progresses.

In other news my cousin got married last year!
Congratulations Rachel!
The photo quality of my phone isn’t the best, especially under low lighting, but these are the best photos from the day.

Rachel and Terry with his family

Rachel and Terry with his family

Family Photo

Family Photo

The start of this year has been a little crazy.
I remember New Year’s Day driving back from Brandon’s on the M4, the fireworks were going off at Sydney Speedway, and I thought to myself “that’s awesome, I forgot how magical fireworks were up close. This is going to be a great year! We should really go to the speedway with Nathan and Eve cause it’ll be fun and they live so close”

That was my goal, to make this year fantastic, awesome, amazing, great! Then a few weeks later Brandon’s Papou passed away. It was crushing, for everyone that knew him. Everyone’s thoughts went to his Yaiyai and they still do. I was a bit of a mess for the one day that I did go to work, though everyone at work was really supportive. Brandon was staying strong for the family the while time.

Papou was a great man, more than words can describe. I didn’t know him long, but for the years that I did, I’m grateful. Maybe if you ask me, I’ll tell you a bit about him =).

I was going to write a bit more. But maybe next time.

Take care,
Helen ♥

Oct 7, 2014

Trouble Sleeping

I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping tonight, partly due to hunger (I ate earlier than usual) and the other part from my ticking mind.

I’ve only recently just caught up with everything I needed to do. This Sunday and today was one of the few days where we got to sleep in and wake up without needing to bolt to anywhere in a hurry. I miss that.

August was an insanely eventful month, by the end of it I was a complete mess. Emotions ranged from happiness to… sadness and pain, from ski trips, Melbourne adventures, conventions and new additions to something that had a big impact on my family. It was a month that didn’t end on a good note, nor did September begin on the happiest note.

We’re still searching for our first home which is taking up most of our time. I keep telling myself that things will slow down and we’ll finally be able to catch up with people, but I don’t think people will be around. It’s an interesting situation. I don’t feel as if I’m that close to that many people, maybe it’s just the curse of the working life, or maybe the same differences that bring people together are the ones that are that end up separating you.

I’ve never been a a social person. I think the thing people liked about me is that it effortless to talk to me because I would remember the strange little conversations and would randomly see how someone was doing, not frequently but enough to keep something going. Now that I’ve stopped, because I can’t keep up anymore, so has most things it seems, except for those few people =). Before I started writing this blog, I thought it was something I minded, but I’ve come to realise, it’s not. There will always be the people that will be the easiest to talk to. Besides when it comes to the end, I just want something small and intimate.

Next blog will be less talk and more photos from the past few months =P.

Clearing my mind,
Helen ♥

Sep 1, 2013


I remember once we went bowling, and we had a weird lane that wasn’t working. Some pins had gotten stuck down the back of the lane, and then those pins pulled in more pins and some bowling balls in as well.

We left them there until it became too ridiculous to play cause it pretty much stopped the whole game. An attendant had to go behind and free them. But some of those pins got stuck again, though we left them, cause we tried to move them and it was one of those things where you have to make a choice; to move them and face having it happen over and over again or to move on and put in a work around.

So we did the latter, and played around the pins. I wanted to move them again, but I had a feeling those pins would have stubbornly gotten stuck again plus they weren’t being disruptive anymore and we only had the one game to play.

I won the game =), but we lost as a team to the boys. Next time we’ll beat them!

Sometimes you get a little stuck,
Helen ♥

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Jul 30, 2013


Had the worse dream one could have.
I dreamed Brandon died. I kept searching for him and everyone kept telling me he was dead, abs looked down at me with pity.

But because I wouldn’t believe it, someone told me to call Brandon but it went to Voicemail.

I woke up all hot, and I knew I was in my bed, but I had to call him even though I knew it was a dream. I started crying as I told him about my dream.

Not the best way to wake up after an anniversary haha.

I’m glad you’re alive smelly.

I love you!
Helen ♥

Jul 30, 2013

Blood Everywhere

So I snapped today. I was happy in the morning because I was having dinner with the boyfriend tonight for our two and a half year anniversary =) (it was really good, the decor was cosy, the food was good and it was great spending some quality time together).

So I really wasn’t in the mood for any negativity this morning especially when it was a simple request. And so got frustrated and just told then exactly what I thought. I admit,  I could’ve handled it a lot better, but two years of the uncertainty was too long, and I couldn’t sit on it anymore. My hands were actually shaking afterwards. I don’t like confrontations but it had to be done.

We’ll just have to see how it all airs out.

Oh and I’m donating blood tomorrow! It’s been awhile haha.

Sleep is for the weak,
Helen ♥

Jul 22, 2013

You ♥

I don’t want someone that can teach me the ways of the world,
I want someone that I can discover the world with,
make mistakes with
and smile with.

You’re that someone for me.

Smile in your sleep,
Helen ♥

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