Nightmares

Had the worse dream one could have.
I dreamed Brandon died. I kept searching for him and everyone kept telling me he was dead, abs looked down at me with pity.

But because I wouldn’t believe it, someone told me to call Brandon but it went to Voicemail.

I woke up all hot, and I knew I was in my bed, but I had to call him even though I knew it was a dream. I started crying as I told him about my dream.

Not the best way to wake up after an anniversary haha.

I’m glad you’re alive smelly.

I love you!
Helen ♥

Letting it out

There are times in your life when you just can’t hold it in anymore,
and you cry, and surprisingly everything feels a little better afterwards.

In the last few years, I’ve had a few of those moments…
And I’ve cried alone, I’ve cried with people and I’ve cried with someone supporting me.
I just want to take the time to thank all the people that have been with me,
and made crying a little less lonely.
Sometimes, you don’t even want to cry, even thought you need to,
and the concern in their voice and the comfort of their nearness,
just gets to you and out it comes.

So thank you Alice Kwak for calling me that time I really needed it,
even though your voice made me cry more XD.

Thank you Yang for meeting me and letting cry all over your jumper.
I really needed that, and the talk you gave me…
gave me that little bit more strength.

Thank you LOLwena… I couldn’t resist =]P for following me into the bathroom,
and making sure I was alright =].

Thank you Adem for the hug that made me cry,
it made me realise that I wasn’t over it,
no matter how much I told myself I was.

Thank you Brandon for not letting go the time you hugged me
and I suddenly started crying on your shoulder.
It made me feel that much better that I could let it all out.
And for all the other times you’ve made me feel better after I cried.

Thank you Wendy,
I hope I was supportive,
and if you need me,
you know I’ll come running.

Thank you Holly,
for bringing me tissues everytime you see me cry and asking if I’m ok.

Thank you Dad and Mum for all the times I’ve cried and you’ve given me supportive words,
and looked after me.

AND THANK YOU CHI AND YASASWI for last week,
talking it out with you guys and telling you everything that happened cleared my mind =].
Still laughing at you Yasaswi, for thinking that I just woke up when I was crying,
but I love you for dropping everything and running to me with fudge
once you realised you asking me if I was alright, made me cry more =]P.
And Chi I love you for how you thought the worst of my situation
and deciding you’d support me no matter what, and for the hugs that made me bawl.

I hope I haven’t missed anyone else,
but I have a feeling I probably have,
I love you guys and everyone that I’ve accidently missed.
Let’s aim for tears of happiness next time, ok?

Smiling, and not ITOM’ing
Helen ♥